By Betty Lou
The first time we used one was in England. It was to be a gift to Bob’s sister but we needed to use it before relinquishing it to Diane before we left for home.
Since we were in England, it was only natural to find a voice with an English accent and who spoke of roundabouts and motorways and the great rest stops off the motorways. Maggie spoke with such clarity in England that when we returned to the states and left her behind with Diane, we bought a new GPS that would navigate us through the North Country of New York. Maggie was gone and a woman with no accent at all and who spoke slovenly appeared on the voice. I told Bob I couldn’t understand her. I didn’t know if she said turn left or turn right or 300 yards ahead or 200 yards ahead. I asked him to please find a voice with an English accent and what luck, Maggie’s voice came in loud and clear.
I needed Maggie not only for the clarity of her voice but her immense patience with us as we made wrong turns or stopped at places she was unfamiliar with.
However, I have been thinking lately that what we think is patience is really a shutting down of the microphone while she swears and curses at our stupidity without being heard by us. How could anyone in their right mind deal with people who give her the most far out and remote sites to locate. Just the other day we were on our way to Hammond. We hadn’t heard from her in awhile and I know we were getting close to our location. I just knew she had spilled coffee on the map where Hammond was located and she had to sop it up with a sponge. When the location of Hammond was all smudged, she had to put in a call to her employer to locate Hammond for her so that she could finally relay the information to us. Just in the nick of time, she said, “Ahead, turn right.” Wow, she almost got us lost that time.
When thinking back to our trip to England I realize that the times we turned off the Motorway by mistake, she swore under her breath, “Dam fools, made the wrong turn. Now what am I going to do. They expect me to get them back on their way immediately. They can’t even wait till I have a bite of this delicious donut I just bought from the sweet shop.” If you’ve ever been to England you have to count the exits. Maggie will say, “Stay on the motorway and take the 4th exit. Have you ever tried to count the exits when there are cars in front of you taking the first exit, the second exit, etc. It’s enough to drive you crazy. And Maggie is trying with all her ingenuity to get us on the right road. When we took the third exit by mistake, I knew she said, “Now, what the hell am I supposed to do.” That saintly woman with the patience of Job has disappeared.
Granted I’ve never heard any of this language coming from Maggie, but don’t you really think she gets exasperated with the idiots on the roadway????
